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Like many in client service, I’ve spent years trying to be a swan. There’s a universal pressure to appear like one.
Projecting a calm, polished exterior while paddling like mad beneath the surface. But behind that seemingly effortless glide, I’ve battled my own mental health struggles. So for Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to share my story. Because as leaders, we have a responsibility to show that sometimes – instead of swans – it’s OK to be more like geese; messy, noisy, and doing our best to stay in formation.
Geese fly in formation for a reason; they take turns at the front. They lift each other up and when one goose falls behind, another stays with it. No-one is left to struggle alone.
That sounds a lot like leadership to me.
It’s not about being invincible. It isn’t about having all the answers or always being in control. It’s about being human. It’s about creating workplaces where our teams feel safe enough to bring their whole selves to work. Not just the swans. The geese too.
Let’s speak up
I’ve spoken openly about my mental health struggles with colleagues, friends and in workplace forums. But it took me years to get to that place. Years of feeling like I had to present an unshakeable front, like I had to prove my resilience by swallowing my struggles.
In my 20s, I had anorexia. I battled it for five years. Somehow, I managed to pull through. Even now, despite being in a much better place, it lingers. I know my triggers. I know when I need to course correct. That experience gave me the awareness to quickly recognise postpartum depression when I had my daughter in my early 30s. But even with that self-awareness, the isolation I felt during those times was deafening.
I look back at smiley photos from my 20s, and I can pinpoint my darkest moments in them. Often, they were when I was surrounded by friends. That’s the thing about mental health. So many of us are struggling right in front of each other, and no-one knows. Because we’ve been conditioned to believe vulnerability is weakness.
Vulnerability = strength
Struggling with mental health isn’t a niche issue. It’s not reserved for certain people in certain jobs. It doesn’t care about your title or your salary. It can hit anyone. And it does. Every single day.
According to Mind, one in four people in England will experience a mental health problem each year. Let that sink in.
Despite that staggering number, mental health is still not talked about enough. We treat it like an uncomfortable side conversation rather than something that should be embedded into our workplaces. We offer well-being perks, like yoga sessions, petting zoos, free fruit; as if they’re enough. And while those things are nice, they don’t address the root problem: that too many people suffer in silence.
If we want our teams to feel safe enough to talk about their struggles, then we, as leaders, need to go first. We need to show that it’s OK not to be OK.
When I started sharing my experiences, people around me started sharing theirs, sometimes for the first time. That’s the power of openness.
Enough lip service, what can we actually do?
This Mental Health Awareness Week, let’s do more than host a couple of wellness events and call it a day. Let’s build workplace cultures where these conversations happen 365 days a year.
- If you feel comfortable, share your own mental health story. You never know who might hear it and feel seen for the first time. Sometimes, all it takes is one person going first to break the cycle of silence.
- Make mental health resources easy to find. Policies and support systems should not be buried in an intranet black hole. Make sure people know where to go for help, whether they’re ready to talk about it or not.
- Introduce Mental Health First Aiders. These are invaluable people within your organisation who can help facilitate conversations and signpost the right support.
- Call out toxic work culture. Overworking is still a badge of honour in many industries, and that needs to change. Presenteeism is not productivity. Trust your teams. Give them flexibility. And for the love of God, stop emailing them when they’re on holiday.
And yes, while the industry is slowly shifting, and we are making moves in the right direction too, we can’t pretend the work is done. We still have a long way to go. Not all of these things are in place, and we need to be honest about that. Acknowledging that change is happening is important but so is holding ourselves accountable to do better.
Let’s choose openness
If sharing my story helps even one person feel less alone, then it’s worth it.
So, my ask is: choose openness. Choose honesty. Choose to create environments where people feel safe bringing their whole selves to work. Because being a leader isn’t about being perfect. It’s about showing up, warts and all, and showing others they can too. Let’s make our workplaces places where mental health is not a hidden struggle but an open conversation.
It’s OK to not always be swan-like. Because that’s what real leadership looks like- embracing the goose.
